LGBTQIA+ AFFIRMING THERAPY

You want to feel safe within therapy, getting the support you need without judgment. You're seeking an LGBTQIA+ inclusive therapy space.

Whatever the issue you are currently experiencing, perhaps just knowing that I am gay, queer and non-binary may help you to feel comfortable in counselling. Whilst your experiences will be unique, having lived within a minority myself gives me personal insight into some of the challenges that this may also have brought you. Within our sessions, you can lay down the burden of educating me and relax without fear of being mis-gendered or assumptions being made about you. My approach is rooted in respect for you knowing your inner world and life best, as you are the one living it. I am an ally for all gender, sexual and relational identities, experiences and expressions.

What you need help with may not be focused on your gender or sexuality, and it will always be up to you how much we bring those parts of you into our sessions. However, I do find that it can be helpful to be queer informed and to hold an intersectional approach as we explore your problems. This means that as we unpack your challenges, we might consider how your cultures and identities might be impacting what you are struggling with, your experience of yourself and the world around you.

You've been experiencing sexual or romantic attraction to the same or multiple genders, perhaps feeling confused or conflicted, or want to understand this more deeply.

• You may have experienced this attraction or been involved with others for a long time, keeping it hidden, hoping it fades. This could be due to your family's views, culture, or faith. You might also wonder how embracing it will affect your identity and how others will perceive you.
• Maybe you've had a one off sexual or romantic experience or these new feelings have sprung up out of nowhere. You never thought of yourself in this way before and your head is spinning.
• It could be you're feeling confused about a lack of or low sexual or romantic desire. This may be impacting your sense of belonging and how you engage in relationships.
• You may feel comfortable with your sexuality or romantic orientation but want to better understand its past impact and present expression. For example, you might only feel open about it in certain environments or find it challenging to navigate your sexual or romantic experiences.

You're exploring your gender in new, liberating yet scary ways. Perhaps you're beginning to allow yourself to live authentically, but are unsure of what's next, or simply seek a trans and gender-diverse inclusive therapy space.

• Perhaps questioning your gender is new, and the potential of being trans or/and gender diverse resonates but feels very unfamiliar territory.
• You may have known your true gender for a long time but been nervous to allow it to be expressed openly. Maybe you affirm it in private but are feeling that you want to live authentically across your life, and not just in particular moments.
• You may be wondering, if you choose to make changes in how you live, present and express your gender, how this will impact your experiences within personal and family relationships, work, culture and more.
• It could be that you have certainty around being trans or/and gender diverse. This is not new but you want a trans and gender-diverse inclusive counselling space to navigate any issues in your life.

You have discovered or given yourself permission to be your authentic self, and now you wish to "come out", sharing your sexuality, romantic orientation or gender with others in your life, or to take steps to affirm your gender and transition.

• You have held this part of you in for so long and want to stop hiding these important parts of you. You want others you care about to know you fully.
• You're unsure where to begin with coming out, who to tell, what you want others to know, or what words to use when you express yourself to others. It feels like a lot.
• You're scared about how others will respond, and how coming out or transitioning with will impact your relationships with others, your cultures, your workplace and wider life.
• You are unsure about what transitioning looks like for you, what steps you may wish to take in terms of using new pronouns or a new name, changing how you dress or present publicly, changing legal documents or undergoing affirming medical care.

You have experienced some painful rejection from loved ones within your life, which you're struggling to come to terms with, or are feeling the impact of others' hate or judgment. No matter how much you try to move on, you can't and it just hurts.

• A family member, loved one or friend whom you have shared yourself with has rejected important parts of you, and/or you've experienced prejudice from them. This may be happening now or have taken place in the past. You're unsure how to recover from this or how to navigate this relationship moving forwards.
• You experience hate, judgment or prejudice in parts of your life such as at work or in particular social situations. Each time it happens it feels like a small stab in the heart. These moments are piling up and becoming difficult to handle.
• You may have experienced a particular incident of homophobia, biphobia, acephobia, transphobia, or other prejudice and discrimination has been incredibly distressing and you are struggling to move past it.
• Your gender, sexuality, identities or experiences have been invalidated by others. You've been made to feel insignificant or been misunderstood. You're left feeling like an outsider or alone.
• You feel judged or hurt by the LGBTQIA+ community. Perhaps you've been shamed for parts of your identity or preferences, made to feel like you don't belong, experienced racism or other prejudice, been fetishised, or feel that you can only express yourself within particular spaces or privately.

You are finding romantic and sexual relationships within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community complex, challenging or/and stressful. You wonder if things can be different…

• Whatever your desires, preferences and wants, you are currently finding your relationship/s difficult. They are just not working. You may have clarity as to why this is, or feel confused. Either way, you get a knot in your stomach every time you think of it.
• You may be going through a relationship breakup or breakdown. Perhaps some boundaries have been crossed, broken or expectations have compromised.
• You may be noticing unhelpful patterns in your relationships that affect your enjoyment of them. Perhaps you recognise that some of your coping mechanisms when the road gets bumpy are more harmful than helpful.
• You may find yourself at a crossroads. Perhaps something that you want and is important to you doesn't fit in with what your partner/s wants. You're unsure what comes next.
• You may find that relationships generally bring up a lot of anxiety and stress. This can be tiring and lessen your enjoyment of the good times.

You're an LGBTQIA+ parent or potential parent who is facing sensitive and daunting issues around conception or adoption. Perhaps whilst parenting your child feels important, the complexities mean it also is intimidating, unsettling and stressful.

• You may be struggling as you go through the process of adoption, IVF, conception or surrogacy, perhaps not for the first time. You so want to be a parent, but the uncertainty and risks are stressful and anxiety provoking.
• Whilst your child has brought a lot to your life, it also is impacting your relationship with your partner/s, family and other people in your life. Managing all these can be complex. Perhaps you also feel like you're losing yourself.
• You may be parenting a child from a previous relationship or within a blended family, feeling uncertain about your role and unsure about where you fit in.
• You question yourself as a parent and doubt your ability to influence your child's life in the way that you wish to. Perhaps you notice unhelpful patterns from your experience of your own parents repeating.
• You, your family or child are experiencing discrimination or prejudice for being an LGBTQIA+ family. You're unsure how to navigate this, and concerned about the impact.